of the recession. Yesterday, my wife and I went to one of the local shopping malls and I figured out why there is a recession. First there were four candle stores in this mall. FOUR! Call me crazy but in my house we have this newfangled electric light and in order to light a room all you have to do is press a switch. Then, of course, there were the four stores which carry clothes for today;s youth, all Vivian Westwood knockoffs circa 1982. Yep, four of them also, not to mention Abercrombie and Fitch and Hollister which for all intents and purposes are identical. Do the teenagers of today really need a Ramones shirt? I knew it was bad when The Blasters “Marie, Marie” was playing in the store. Can’t today’s kids find their own style? Do they really need to dress like I did in 1981? Then there were the ten shoe stores, the five identical jewelry stores and the five or so beauty shops. Finally there were the 10 or so various corporate food outlets. There seem to be too many stores selling identical goods to consumers.
On to a large retailer which shall remain nameless, but has a bull’s eye logo. This store literally had nothing on the shelves. OK, I am exaggerating a bit, but a good third of the shelves and racks in the store were empty or nearly so. The toy department was nearly empty as was the cosmetics department. There were some clothes and expensive electronics, but really it looked as though the store had been picked clean. There were plenty of shoppers on hand who would have bought something had there been anything to buy. The same is true of a well known department store, the one that hosts an annual holiday parade in New York. Once, I used to enjoy shopping at this establishment, everything was neat and orderly and there were plenty of salespeople ready to help you find exactly what you were looking for. Now, the place has turned into a random hodgepodge of “product kiosks” with nary a salesperson in sight. If you can find what you are looking for, which is highly unlikely, chances are there will be no one to help you because whom ever you find may or may not be a representative of that particular brand or company. Furthermore, a number of the products are simply marketed stupidly. My wife picked up a jar of hand cream which had a label that said, “If your face looks thirty, your hands scream fifty!” She put it back with a dismissive, “Thanks for telling me I look older than I really am, fuckers!” Telling women that they look old is not a way to get them to buy your product.
So, why is there a recession? First, there are too many “brands” which are literally identical to other “brands”. The idea is not to create a brand but instead to create a product which is unique and which people will buy. Secondly, the large retailers have lost their way. They need to return to clean, orderly, well stocked and well staffed stores, not simply becoming a mini-mall within a mall itself. Finally companies have to go back to producing goods which people want and market them intelligently. If your marketing ploy is to try to recreate fashions from 30 years ago and there are four other shops just like yours, chances are you are going to fail. If your advertising insults your target consumer, chances are you are going to fail. If you do not provide customer service or can’t keep inventory on your shelves, you are going to fail. An exrtended period of business failures is called a recession.