Real Thought

To convert to Islam, the Religion of Peace. You heard right. I am tired of all of the old Christian virtues like humility, kindness, repect for human life and self-restraint. Instead I wish to practice a religion which gives me carte blanche to treat women like the second class citizens they should be, spew anti-Semitic diatribes without fear of being rebuked, advocate the death penalty for homosexuality, kill innocent people, stockpile weapons for no useful purpose, blame the “Imperialist Zionist West” for all the world’s problems and kill thousands of people who don’t believe as I do, even for differing interpretations of obscure verses in the Qu’ran, for which I will be the final arbiter. You may all begin to call me Doha ibn-Yusef from now on. Yep, Islam seems to be the religion for me! Well, except for having to give up cocktails and pork products. Maybe I’ll have to rethink this…

Today is the start of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, and in traditional fashion the month of fasting and religious contemplation started off with a bang, literally, in Iraq. Earlier this morning a bomb exploded in Sadr City and killed 34 of Allah’s faithful. What a way to kick off the holiest time of year! I think the Christians and Jews need to adopt this practice. Can you imagine the renewal of faith that would follow a Mardi Gras massacre or a Yom Kippur killing spree? I always thought that Muslims were supposed to be brothers and sisters in their submission to the will of Allah. Given the lack of outrage among Muslims in reaction to this bombing, I guess it is permissible to kill your brothers and sisters at the beginning of the holiest month in the Islamic religious calendar. This kind of behavior makes me want to convert right now. What a way to provide justification for allowing my dark, anti-social, psychotic side out. Where do I sign up?

this woman to help you with a drug intervention?

Evidently, Clive Davis thought it would be a great idea to hire Courtney Love to help him get Whitney Houston clean and sober. OK, I am no fan of Ms Love’s, as a matter of fact every time she goes out in public, she embarasses the hell out of me; but really, what in the hell is Clive Davis thinking? Courtney keeping Whitney straight? How about hiring Kate Moss? Then the three of them can go to rehab together. Maybe Robert Downey Jr. is available.

Of course, Clive may have a plan.  If Courtney looks as bad as she does in htis picture, maybe she will scare Whitney straight.

His Holiness, Pope Benedict said that he was “deeply sorry” for the crisis which his remarks on Tuesday caused and that the quotes from Emperor Manuel II Palaeologus did not “reflect his personal views” and then said that his speech was actually an invitation to dialogue with “mutual respect.”

Yet that was not good enough for some. Many Muslim leaders are quoted by Reuters as saying that the Pope’s apology was “not sufficient” and at least one Iranian “cleric”, Ahmad Khatami said “The Pope should fall on his knees in front of a senior Muslim cleric and try to understand Islam.”

What????? The Pope has done nothing to apologise for.  His remarks were taken out of context and used, by Muslim leaders, to inflame Muslim hatred of the West. If anyone should fall on their knees, it is the Muslim leaders who, by taking the Pope’s comments out of context, have created this crisis. Yet again, we have another example of how the leaders of the “religion of peace” twist the words of a Western leader to fit their evil agenda. The very thought of a Pope kneeling to a Muslim cleric is extremely offensive and I am not even Catholic.

At this point, I suggest that His Holiness issue a call to all Muslims to repent their mistaken beliefs and convert to Christianity so that they might better understand it. I wonder how that would sit with the Muslim “clerics”.

The Muslims want an apology from Pope Benedict for remarks he made in a speech on Tuesday in which he stated that the terms”jihad” and “holy war” were incompatible with the “nature of God”.

I have a suggestion for His Holiness. His apology should be the words uttered in response to Pope Urban II’s call for the First Crusade in 1095, “Deus vult!” How dare Muslims even think of asking for an apology for remarks critical of their religion from the head of the largest Christian denomination in the world! Perhaps it is they who should apologise for the oppression and execution of Christians and Jews which occurs in their countries. Does the arrogance of these people have no end?

In a recent speech at Harvard University, Mohammed Khatami, former president of Iran, defended Iran’s death penalty for homosexuals stating that “Homosexuality is a crime in Islam and such crimes are punishable.”

Might I ask where the outrage is from all of the gay rights groups and liberals in this country?  Funny how people can criticize American society and claim that homosexuals are oppressed because they can’t legally get married in most states, yet they are silent when Iran condemns homosexuals to death.  Perhaps those like Brad Pitt ought to pull their heads out of their rectums long enough to see where the real threat to equal rights for all really exists.

By the way, the only other person I have been able to find who has commented on this issue is Jason over at Texas Rainmaker, who is not, by any means, liberal.

Yep, tonight is the night in which I get to entertain the parents or guardians of my students. Before you ask any silly questions there are a few things I’d like to get off my chest:

Just once, I’d like the parents who attend this shindig to actually read the student handbook and the various parent letters they have received BEFORE they ask questions about how my class is run. I would really appreciate it if many of them would realize that it is my job to TEACH not to fix whatever psychological problems their spawn may have. Furthermore, I’d like them to realize that if little Johnny or Janey is disruptive or refuses to follow simple instructions such as, “Johnny, quit hitting Bill over the head with your desk.”, it is my right and duty to remove their child from my classroom, by physical force if necessary. There is no negotiation on this point.

Another thing, I was not hired to coddle your child nor to be their friend nor surrogate parent. I was hired to teach your child. My area of expertise is History, not appropriate social behavior nor appropriate dress nor anger management. There are professionals whose forte those subjests are, they are called psychiatrists and psychologists and PARENTS. If your child needs help in these areas, I suggest you step up and help them. If you cannot, I suggest that you seek help from someone with a bunch of letters appended to their name.

Finally, if your child looks like the one in the first picture, he or she will do fine. If he or she looks like the one in the second, well, there isn’t much I can do, Sparky.

Thank you.

May God grant rest and peace to those innocents who perished on that terrible day and may God grant the United States and its allies the strength and fortitude to visit upon those who wish us harm and those who support them the swift and terrible vengeance which they richly deserve and may God grant comfort to the families and friends of the victims of that day.

May God protect and keep our troops from harm and grant them the ultimate victory over our enemies.

Former Vice-president Al Gore took time out from doing Al Jolson impressions at an Australian film festival to say that he hasn’t ruled out another run for the presidency, according to a report from the Associated Press.  Mr. Gore was in Australia to attend a screening of his alarmist global warming film, “An Inconvienient Truth”.  After Mr. Gore entertained the press corps with selected scenes from “The Jazz Singer”, Australian Prime Minister John Howard said that he would not meet with Mr. Gore nor heed Mr. Gore’s advice to sign on to the Kyoto Protocol stating, “I do not take policy advice from films”.  If only many liberals here in the United States had the same amount of sense that Mr. Howard displayed our country would be much better off.

The Governator has just apologised for calling a latina state assemblywoman “hot”.  Evidently Arnold made these comments in reference to Assemblywoman Bonnie Garcia, Republican from Cathedral City, pictured here:

He aso mentioned that it was the mixture of blood which made latinos “hot.”  Ms Garcia was not offended by the comments, but according to Reuters, Arnold’s opponent in the upcoming election for governor, Phil Angelides, is.  Phil is not latino, but Greek, so I am not quite sure why he is offended.  It may be that he is less attractive than Ms Garcia and has self confidence issues.

Of course, I am offended by Governor Schwarzenegger’s comments, because I do not find Ms Garcia “hot”.  Had the Governor made this comment about Jennifer Lopez or Penelope Cruz or Selma Hayeck. I could understand it.

But, no offense to Ms Garcia, while she is attractive in that Junior League sort of way, she simply isn’t “hot”.